Last year, I had some coaching sessions. We spent some time exploring my beliefs around money.
In one exercise, I had to give money a character. I described money as a giant, black and red fire breathing dragon. It would fly around destroying families and gobbling up everything in sight — the greedy bastard. I associated money with greed, tearing families apart, and being, well, evil.
This could explain a lot
Growing up, we didn’t have much money. My parents divorced and money was always the cause of arguments and negative emotion. I remember feeling shit scared to ask my dad for money. I was 8. In fact, I remember stealing the odd pound coin and five pound note from my mum’s purse. I don’t know why. I guess I wanted what both my parents needed so much too.
Money was scarce
My mum did what she could to put food on the table. To put Christmas presents under the tree. I always felt sad and guilty. I wanted the presents but I knew we didn’t have the money for it.
We can’t afford it
We had to be stingy. The fear of never having enough riddled our family like cancer. And when we did have it, we held onto it with a fearful grip. When my dad wouldn’t let his money go so we could go on a school trip or buy new clothes, there were tears and rage from my mum. I felt sorry.
They needed the money for me
Perhaps it was my fault. I wasn’t worth it. Either way money was always the root of problems in my family. I hated it.
So, why would money come to me if I only saw it as the cause of negativity? My beliefs were amplified in adulthood — tales of corruption and greed.
It must be money’s fault, right? Surely I’m not the only one who had this belief.
A golden retriever
We did another exercise. This time I gave money a character that embodied its true nature. Free from the wrongdoings of humans. This time I saw money as a golden retriever. He’d grow with me the more I love, care, and nurture him. He’d be part of the family. He’d even hold us together.
The analogy stuck with me. I kept thinking about this golden retriever. I found a photo of him and put it in the middle of my vision board. I desired him more than anything else. Not because of the money. It was deeper than that. I felt he had something to teach me.
His name is Richie. And I think I manifested him.