Lost Soul: Chapter One
A boy’s quest to remember his true nature [Fantasy fiction inspired by an ayahuasca journey in Putumayo, Colombia]
The boy opened his eyes in a strange land. He lay motionless, face up on a bed of glistening green grass, staring dead-eyed into nothingness. A shooting star entered his periphery, carving a silver trail through a deep purple sky.
At that moment, he jolted upright, coming back into his body as though waking from an unexpectedly long nap. He stretched out his neck. To the left. Then right. Little specks of light glitched in and out of existence like pixels on a broken computer screen. Far away on the horizon, snow-capped mountains grew up as far as he could see, into infinity. Nothing else filled the expanse other than the boy’s bewilderment.
Where am I? He thought, looking down and raising his arms in front of his face.
They were grey and semi-transparent like looking at a cell beneath a microscope. He scrunched his eyes shut and held his breath, hoping to wake up out of this madness.
After what felt like hours, eyes shut, holding himself tight in a tight ball, he realised he didn’t need to breathe. He screamed into the void. At least my voice works, he thought. Within a second, his scream reverberated back at him as if an orchestra was replaying it in multiple octaves. He covered his face with his grey, see-through hands that dulled the grass. I’ve gone mad… or I’m dead! A sinking feeling swept through his body. The kind you feel after breaking your mum’s favorite vase, and you’ve got to own up to what you’ve done.
“There he is!”
He heard someone shout away in the distance. The voice was high-pitched and feminine.
“Where?” A gruff, masculine voice replied.
The boy peeked through the cracks in his fingers. Again, he heard the high-pitched voice — now directly behind him.
“Holis” Sounded in his ear.
The boy swung around in a flash, still peeking from behind his fingers. The high-pitched voice was a girl. Well, kind of. She appeared to be a girl, but she was hovering in the air about 4 meters off the ground, enveloped by a seethrough hummingbird. It clung to her like body armor; its tails and feathers left bright blue, green, and golden energy trails as she hovered up and down.
“Myyy. Nameee. Isss. Andreaaa,” she said, sounding out each syllable as if the boy wouldn’t understand.
“Wha — what are you? Where am I?” The boy stuttered.
‘You’re in the realm of infinite possibilities. And I’m a multi-dimensional being,’ Andrea said, throwing her shoulders back and chin up.
The panic was about to burst out of his chest. He got up to run, but his legs only kicked and kicked without any movement, as if he were running away in a nightmare.
“This can’t be happening,” sobbed the boy. “I think I’m going to be sick”
“Pull ya self together, lad. We’re ‘ere to help ya.” The gruff voice said, catching his breath.
The boy looked up to see a giant figure of a man leaning against a round shield. He must have been over 7 feet tall. His bright blond hair rested above his broad shoulders. He was almost as wide as he was tall — you’d think he’d be menacing, a warrior who’d seen battle more times than he’d had hot dinners, but his face was kind and true.
“Alexander, at ya service, lad…”
“At my service?’ The boy replied
“Aye, we’ve been sent to help ya.”
“Si!” Andrea butted in. “We’re here to help you remember who you are.” And with that, she bolted up, to the left, down, and back to the center, leaving more rainbow-colored trails in her wake. Her infectious, joyous energy made him feel better for some reason.
“You’re lost”
“I’m what?” The boy replied.
“Youuuu. Areeee. Lostttt,” Andrea sounded out again.
No, I understand what you’re saying, the boy said, shaking his head in confusion. But what do you mean… lost?”
“Look at yourself, laddy”. Alexander said.
The boy looked down again. His body was grey and dull. Nothing like the vibrant creatures he saw in front of him.
“You’re a lost soul,” Andrea said. “You’ve forgotten what makes you shine.”
“Don’t see his power animal either,” Said Alexander, circling the boy with his stubby thumb and index finger poised on his chin.
“Power animal? Soul? What are you talking about?” Said the boy.
Andrea and Alexander exchanged worried looks, trying their best not to worry the already worried boy.
“I’ve gone mad!” The boy said to himself, holding his face in his hands.
“Look, lad,” said Alexander while pulling out what looked like a chicken leg the size of a sheep from his leather satchel draped across his broad shoulders.
“We’re ya guides. Well, the two of ’em who’ve found ya first,” the giant man said. His lips smacked as he ripped meat from the bone and the excess saliva slid down his barrel-like belly.
“That’s right! We’ve sent you so many signs, but sometimes humans don’t seem to listen,” Andrea sighed.
“Signs?” Said the boy.
Andrea floated to the ground in disbelief, her colorful glow fading like a wilted flower.
“Mira, every human has guides. They may appear as animals showing you’re on the right path. The people that come into your life at the right time. The peace you feel when you make an important decision– When it just. Feels. Right. Even when you see numbers like 1111 or 333… Although, humans do look into those way too much.”
Alexander nodded in agreement between bites.
“What I’m saying is, we’re always trying to guide you toward your truest self, your highest potential” The truth in her words saw her glow return.
“Here, let me show you…”
Andrea touched the boy’s chest with the ink-blue tip of her golden wing. He pulled back, but the hummingbird’s kind energy embraced him, something within him said he should let this already strange situation develop. A sense of knowing replaced the panic caused by his rational mind. He felt clarity. A golden tinge of light began to shine where the boy’s heart would have been.
He let his eyes fall shut. In the black of his eyes, he saw green mountains capped with clouds. They cast dark shadows on otherwise brilliantly illuminated fields and farms.
A blue and green hummingbird zipped past his eyeline. The boy smiled.
Andrea pulled her wing away.
“What was that? Was it me? It sure felt like me. I mean, I didn’t look like this!” The boy thrust his lifeless grey hands out in front of him.
“I don’t know what you saw. All I can do is help you remember,” replied Andrea.
“Nothing makes sense here, laddy,” Alexander said. “But, if you are ‘ere, it’s gotta be for a reason. I bleedin’ hope so anyway, cos we were supposed ta find ya. Come ‘ere, it ain’t safe to be out in the open, The sky could change any moment.”
Alexander scooped the boy up and placed him on his brawny shoulder. During the swift action, something small and bulbous and red and white fell to the ground like a parachute falling into unknown territory. And there it stayed, unnoticed.
The boy felt comforted by Andrea’s and Alexander’s presence. As though he knew them from somewhere already. If he was going to be lost and alone in a strange land, he was glad they were with him.
The boy was still on Alexander’s shoulders as they marched on. The star-speckled sky twisted and distorted color like a kaleidoscope. Brilliant blues, emerald green, all the colors of the rainbow.
“What’s going on with the sky?” The boy asked Alexander, his mouth ajar and eyes wide with wonder.
“This is the realm of infinite possibilities, boyo. Here anything is possible. Anything you’ve ever experienced, dreamed of, or not even thought is happening simultaneously” Alexander replied.
A few yards away, in the fabric of reality, a portal popped into existence like an old-fashioned TV set turning on. It appeared to be a man in his late fifties crossing the road. He stepped out without much thought, his phone in his hand and on-ear headphones blaring. Out of nowhere a car screeched, skidded, and ploughed into the man, hurling him over the bonnet. His body hit the tarmac like a rag doll.
The boy stood motionless in horror.
Another portal opened up. The same situation and the same man about to make the same fatal mistake. Instead, a passerby’s dog tangled its lead around his legs. He jolted to a halt and the car zoomed past. Nobody was hurt.
“Wait… which one happened?” The boy asked.
“They both did,” replied Andrea void of her familiar joyous voice.
They walked in silence for what seemed like an eternity. They’d see human experience after human experience. Some were beautiful. Like the first time a toddler said “Mama”. And others were horrifying, cruel, unfair.
The next portal to the human realm showed a boy sitting on the edge of his bed sobbing.
“Hey, that’s me!” Said the boy.
The boy, all grown up, took a deep breath, sighed, and got up to go to work in the city.
“That’s — that’s my reality? Only, I’m grown up. Why do I feel so heavy?” Said the boy.
“That’s what being lost can feel like, laddy. You’ve forgotten who you are, ‘’ Said Alexander.
“But we’re here to help you remember,” Andrea chimed, sending energy particles flying in all directions like fairy dust.
The boy looked on into the swirling geometry in front of him contemplating what he’d seen. That wasn’t his dream life, his desire, his truth.
“why?” The boy asked after a long pause.
Alexander touched the boy’s heart with his stubby index finger. The three of them were transported into the life of the boy, the man he’d seen in the portal. They stood outside a busy train station.
The boy saw he wasn’t alone. Battles raged everywhere. Hearts vs heads. True expression vs societal pressure. In most cases, pressure prevailed. Each person’s light dulled. Their spirit buried in the deepest corner of their being — where not even their guides could be heard. Not lost, not defeated, but lobotomized by society.
The software salesman whose soul entered their human experience with a love of music. The sweetest sound he now experienced was the cracking of a beer after work.
The data analyst who was called to paint. She was lucky if she had time to inject color into her Excel spreadsheet.
The marketing executive who dreamed of writing kid’s novels. She tried in her spare time, but late nights at the office and nights out with friends her first drafts only collected dust.
On the surface, they had great jobs and great lives. Yet in their hearts, something wasn’t right. Most accepted their reality, ignorant of life lived according to their heart's desire. Their souls would leave their short stint on earth unfulfilled without living their authentic expression
“This isn’t right. It’s worse than I thought” Said Andrea as they passed another similar story.
Alexander rested his arms on his belly and looked into the swirling sky above. A look of apprehension swept across his face. It was the first time the boy had seen Alexander worried. He was always so sure of himself.
“We should speak to the healer”, Alexander said finally.
‘What’s up with him?’ The boy whispered to Andrea. Andrea checked to make sure Alexander couldn’t hear them.
‘The healer and Alexander have a chequered past. When Alexander was living his human experience, he met the healer during multiple spiritual ceremonies. Let’s just say, the healer wasn’t too forgiving with Alexander. The healer would sometimes enter the human dimension through his body. Well-intentioned. But it’s not nice being channeled through.
Anyway, when Alexander got back to the realm of infinite possibilities, he visited the healer. He demanded to know why. No one knows exactly what happened; Alexander refuses to speak about it. All I know is that he hasn’t been back to the healer’s dimension in a longggg time.’
The boy stared at Andrea blankly, trying to decipher what just he’d heard. He had so many questions; spiritual ceremonies on earth? Who is the healer? He settled with: ‘You mean there are other dimensions?’
‘Yes!’ replied Andrea. She clapped her hands in excitement. ‘The healing dimension is pure love. You’ll see!”
“Are we ready?” Said Alexander reluctantly, hoisting his satchel further up his shoulder.
Alexander and Andrea both closed their eyes and moved their hands purposefully at the same time. They drew geometric patterns in the space in front of them. The patterns hung in the air like smoke rings. As they faded, a pink, white, and black wormhole grew and grew out of nothing. The boy felt a new energy. Different from where they were now. It felt warm, nurturing, loving.
Alexander and Andrea opened their eyes.
“Alright, laddy. ‘Ang on.”
And with that, Alexander grabbed the boy’s hand and all three of them jumped into the vortex.
The energy in his body surged from his gut to his head. He thought he was going to explode as the intensity grew and grew. His chest burned. The pink, black, and white vortex bent, crashed, and folded in on itself. Before he knew it, nausea set in. He got that furry feeling in the back of his throat and the urge to vomit quickly became a bubbling mess of slime-green sludge dribbling from his mouth. Then it was over. Stillness. Silence. The boy found himself in another strange land.
