Lost Soul: Chapter Eleven

A boy’s quest to remember his true nature [Fantasy fiction inspired by an ayahuasca journey in Putumayo, Colombia]

Nick West
5 min readDec 20, 2023

A dejected-looking boy slung himself down onto a corner seat of the Gammy Leg. “Why is this happening to me?” He said, folding his arms and tucking his chin into his chest like a spoiled child.

“I’ll ‘av none of that talk, laddy.” Replied Alexander.

“Me neither!” Said Ivaylo.

Andrea flew down in front of the boy and placed the tip of her wing under the boy’s chin, raising it until he looked her in the eyes. “They’re right,” she said.

The boy didn’t say a word. He darted a look at Bev for support. She was busy polishing a brass beer tap behind the bar. “Ain’t no point asking me luv, I’m wiv ya gang on this one.” She threw the rag onto the bartop. “Tell ya what, I’ll pull the kettle on.”

A few minutes later, she returned with a tray full of tea cups, and to everyone’s delight, chocolate-covered cakes.

“Luvly Bev, I ain’t had a cuppa for what seems like an eternity!” Said Alexander. The others exchanged more worried looks. They didn’t want a repeat of last time.

“Don’t worry yous lot, this isn’t magical tea. Well, magical in the trippy sense. You must’ve had tea during your experiences. Although souls tend not to remember such details about food as Alexander over here.” They all started giggling. Even the boy.

“Well, tea is made for moments like this,” Alexander continued.

“Ay it is,” Bev said, carefully placing the tray down. “Milky with five sugars for the big fella,” she said, passing a steaming hot mug to Alexander. “Dash ‘o milk and one sugar for the pretty boy.” Ivaylo beamed back his charming smile. “Touch of honey for the sweetheart. ‘Ere you are love,” Andrea received the tea as if being tasked with guarding an ancient text.

“And hot ‘n strong for the boy.”

“Gwarn get that down ya then, lovelies. “They each sipped a hearty sip and let out an ahhh in unison.

“Warms the soul, doesn’t it,”

“But like anything, a cup of rosy lee…”

“Tea,” clarified Alexander, assuming the others wouldn’t understand her cockney rhyming slang.

…won’t fix your problems. The moment you look outside yourself, you give away your power. You become a victim. You blame the world for your pain. You accept a view of the world around you that’s been twisted. That ain’t true. It’s only a story you’ve told yourself. Well, the part of you that’s made up of lies passed down from generation to generation on Earth. Some of ’em you weren’t even experiencing. They’re stored in your human body that both your parents created. Imaging that! You come into a new experience all innocent and pure. And then one day you realise you’re carrying the pain of your ancestors, too!

I don’t blame humans for not wanting to face the reality. Better to be ignorant and go through life believing the stories you’ve been told.

If you fail an exam, you ain’t good enough. If you fail an interview, you ain’t good enough. Sometimes accepting the belief that you ain’t good enough without even bleedin’ realising it.” She took a swig of her tea.

How many times have you beaten yourself up for something insignificant? Like, I dunno, forgetting your keys at home. You tell yourself you’re an idiot! It’s not just your parents or the world telling you so, it’s you! It may seem small, but every time you punish yourself, you tell yourself you’re not worthy, not enough, you’re not loveable. You start to believe there is something wrong with you. That you need to be fixed. You spend your life nose-deep in self-help books trying to figure out what needs to be fixed implying you’re broken.

Let me tell ya, that Greek fella weren’t wrong when he said “Wherever you go, there you are”

“I don’t think we was Greek, Bev,” Said Alexander.

“You know what I mean. It’s all up ‘ere,” Bev continued, fiercely tapping her temple with her index finger and becoming visibly emotional.

You change what’s going on up ‘ere and you’ll change what you see outside of ya. And it starts by unlearning all the shit you’ve been told and told ya self. Want to improve your self worth? Know you’re already enough. You always have been. You always will be. Want to love yourself more? Your natural state of being is radiant love and light. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! You’re already whole. You’re already complete.”

Bev collapsed onto the chair behind her, the tears clinging to her eyes lids now falling down her face.

“I know it ain’t easy. I had to leave Earth early to learn these things. I gave up on my light, my life. But it ain’t too late for you boy. We’ve all had our experiences on Earth — some of us may go back,” she looked at Ivaylo. “But you boy, you’ve got a choice to make now.”

The boy lunged toward Bev and wrapped his arms around her. They both sobbed. The others allowed them to share the moment. They knew the place Bev’s words had come from. They knew they had touched the boy’s soul as his light became stronger.

Later that day, with Jeremiah’s permission, the companions arrived in Oro’s chambers. The room was quite cool and the light of three moons glistened through large bay windows. Billowing white curtains partially obscured rolling mountain ranges.

Oro rested in the corner of the room on a rectangular bed made from a material that resembled tennis balls. Even the color was luminous yellow.

“Friends! Do come in. Apologies for my little scene earlier. I’ll be moving on to the Healers’ Realm soon. A great honor for such an old soul. However, the increase in vibration can be tough on the form in this realm.

Anyway, enough about that. I see our young boy here has heard about the truth of all things. I believe he is ready. I believe you all are.”

The boy bowed his head. He felt as though someone had lifted a veil from his eyes. For the first time, he questioned his reality, his beliefs. He peeled off enough layers to see the truth for the first time.

“Now then, things may get messy. They always seem to before change. Oro looked Alexander, Andrea, and Ivaylo in the eyes. You know that all too well my brave souls. Your continued guidance will be needed in this realm and then next.”

Oro beckoned toward the balcony with his shiny black nose. “Now go, let this soul rest one last time.”

Andrea placed the point of her wing on the boy’s back. “Now it’s time,” she said.

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Nick West

Self-discovery fiction for lovers of fantasy and spiritual growth. Expressing my truth through my first novel: The Realm of Infinite Possibilities.